Amber (lurichan) wrote,

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A Quick Glimpse of What Was

I find myself here once again, but I see no longer do I have friends. Those who once spoke to me, now lie to my face but here their true feelings I do see. How can I trust those who would twist the knife, when all they ever wish to do is cause me more pain? Why should I bother to remain, or strive to find my way here once again, when so called friends deserted me in word and deed long ago?
Perhaps it sounds melodramatic...but why should I let that bother me right now? Should I even ask why anymore? Forget myself once again, slip into the bliss of forgetfulness. Leave pain where it lies, and try once again to see the light of day. The cycle that does not end, it claims me each time with new fever. Forget those who cause only pain, and slip back into nothingness one last time. Trust no one, they only wound you in the end. The more you tell them, the deeper the pain. Slip away quietly when no one is looking, and lament what could have been. Forgotten, but never completly alone, peer out from your hidden spaces just long enough to see the world passing by. Find solace in tasks that others don't understand. Find self worth in the knowledge that good still comes from helping others. Keeping people at arms length, yet desperatly yearning to talk to others of things that have festered too long. This is the way life has become, this is the chaos left in the wake of what went so terribly wrong.
Does anyone remember who I was? I lost that long ago.
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